When you fall in love with a narcissist what you have most in common is the love for them. You both love the same person. Then when the relationship ends the hardest task isn’t just it being over, it’s having to reteach yourself what an actually healthy relationship is.
When you are in one of these relationships it’s hard to see the actual effect it has on you. But it becomes clear when you begin to date again. There’s this uneasiness not just about others but about yourself.
In psychology today Stephen Johnson says “this alternate persona to the real self often comes across as grandiose, “above others,” self-absorbed, and highly conceited.”
So when you date someone like this your role is to solely aid their ego and their needs and you will always come second to that.
After that, you have to relearn your own self-worth but there is a lot of baggage you take into your next relationship because even when you move on a narcissist’s effect lingers long after they are gone.
It takes a very special man to show you what you never deserved in the first place.