4. We can be ‘swallowed whole’ by the person we love; we make excellent caretakers but we have to work on becoming better boundary-makers.
Remember that hyper-attunement? Well, it comes in handy for being caretakers but not so much when it comes to maintaining boundaries. We learned to cater to the needs of our toxic parents at a very young age in order to survive. Many of us even took on parent roles. This means our boundaries are porous and need extra work and maintenance.
Otherwise, we can be swallowed whole by whoever we’re dating or in a relationship with. Their needs can become our fixation, often at the expense of our own. This can be especially dangerous if we’re dating another narcissistic person in adulthood. Learning that we have basic needs and rights seems like a rudimentary step, but it’s actually one of the most important milestones children of narcissistic parents can achieve.