5. We’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Since the remnants of our childhood tend to lead to destructive cycles in adulthood, it’s not often that we meet someone who embodies what love and respect look like. On the rare occasion we find consistency in a partner or even a friend, it can initially scare the hell out of us.
What does it mean to have someone believe in us and support us without a hidden agenda? We don’t know, so in the early stages of healing, we might unconsciously find ways to sabotage that connection before it even has a chance to begin.
For a long time, our mentality might be, “what can’t come near us can’t hurt us.” This is natural for someone who had to endure multiple violations even before they became adults. It can also be a protective barrier against predators who are drawn to our empathy and resilience. Unfortunately, when taken too far in some contexts, it means we lose out on opportunities for true intimacy along the way. During the healing journey, children of narcissists can heal their fear of intimacy once they begin getting to know and trust themselves first.