8. We are afraid of being seen, so we either become too visible by oversharing or disappear altogether by withdrawing.
Sometimes, children of narcissists have a tendency to overshare in the early stages of healing in the hopes that someone will see their pain and come rescue them. They put themselves out there to find that rescuer – only to find that the toxic types pretending to do the “rescuing” are only there to feed on their wounds and exploit their vulnerabilities.
However, once they become their own saviors, children of narcissists tend to vacillate in the other direction – they tend to close themselves off so no one can hurt them. If we are vulnerable with you, it’s because we want you to see us for who we really are and accept it. We crave that intimacy. But we take a huge risk in this, because for us, being visible was always akin to being punished and degraded. So be gentle with the child of a narcissistic parent – they’re disclosing things at a slower rate than most because they are trying to protect themselves from annihilation.