Dating isn’t easy, and it’s even less so when you’ve got Asperger’s, an autism spectrum disorder that can make it hard to read social cues.
Jesse Saperstein knows that all too well. In his new book, “Getting a Life with Asperger’s: Lessons Learned on the Bumpy Road to Adulthood,” the 32-year-old tells his fellows on the spectrum that they need to be up front with potential dates that they have Asperger’s. And he says they also need to realize that what feels to them like sincere interest can all too often be perceived as creepiness. This is an edited version of our conversation.
You say that some of the traits common in people with Asperger’s can make social life especially challenging. Why is that?
I believe my peers and I, we achieve great things by being unrelenting. We don’t know when to stop. We can go after things for years. But that relentlessness does not work with humans and human emotions. In adulthood, that translates to full-blown stalking. Sometimes there are legal consequences that could be avoided when the intent is harmless.