I was also in charge of arranging everything for the kids from child care, doctor’s appointments, extracurricular activities, etc. He couldn’t tell you what size clothes they wear or their shoe sizes. During our marriage, I thought this was just how guys are. But now that we are in the throes of divorce, this selfish theme is pervasive. Perhaps the strongest example of this attitude would be that he actually is angry with ME for filing for divorce even though he has moved in with his affair partner and her five children over an hour and a half away from his kids. He feels that I should have waited to file for divorce until he secures full time employment and gets settled into his new life. Really? I think not. I now know that it is NOT all about him. It is about my two beautiful kids and I navigating a new life. Sorry, not sorry about filing for divorce when it was inconvenient for HIM.
I am still in the midst of navigating a divorce from a narcissist. The most important thing I have learned in addition to what I have listed above is they CANNOT and WILL NOT change. That is the hardest part for me to accept because, although I am free of him, my children are not.